Why Depression is Your Own Fault? 

You're fat, out of shape, your diet is terrible, you overconsume alcohol, and you lack any real purpose and direction in life; none of your so-called friends are calling you out for the lifestyle you lead. Is it any wonder why I'm stating that depression* is your own fault? 

Why Depression is Your Own Fault? 

Before any snowflakes reading this throw your toys out of your pram, understand this: I am 100% right with what I have stated. If you are suffering with your mental health, namely depression, and are:

  • Fat and out of shape

  • Drinking alcohol

  • Not exercising

  • Over consuming sugar

  • Not getting enough sleep

  • Sitting on your arse feeling sorry for yourself

Are you really surprised that you are depressed? 

We are seeing mental health amongst Men take an almost 360-degree turn, and I don't mean that in a good way. First, we had to overcome the stigma of depression, overcoming hurdles such as it's weak to speak out, real Men don't suffer from depression, only wimps and pussies are depressed etc. - which is complete bullshit, I might add. 

But we now find ourselves at a point where people are treading on eggshells when discussing mental health issues. I understand that it can be a sensitive subject, but as someone who has suffered from depression, I feel I owe it to my fellow Men to speak out on this matter.

Tough love or the right thing to do?

Is it wrong to point out the bloody obvious as to why people might suffer from depression? Let me tell you from experience that having people telling you "it will "be OK", "it will get better", or "it will pass" is the worst advice someone suffering from their mental health needs to hear. 

Why?

Because you're basically telling them their life will get better without them having to look at themselves in the mirror and taking responsibility for their actions. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but absolutely fuck all will change if you don't change.

I suffered from severe depression in 2014/15 and attempted suicide after having a full-on breakdown. Thankfully my attempt was foiled, but I did get one big fucking wake-up call - I was the creator of the position I was in. 

We are a by-product of what we consume - mentally and physically

Admittedly there was a little more context to my position, but that's not the point. The facts were that I was faced with a scenario, and I turned to drink, drugs, food and just about anything else that would allow me to escape my current reality. 

Houston, we have a problem - no, I have a problem!

I'm not saying I am where I am now solely because I implemented better lifestyle habits. I also sought out therapy and explored plant-based medicine ceremonies that enabled me to expand my conscious thoughts. 

I made the changes deep down I knew I needed to make

By implementing several lifestyle changes, I placed myself in a much better position to overcome and ultimately rid myself of depression. Whereas before, I was drowning my sorrows, getting high, and choosing to escape the real world. I was fat, out of shape, feeling sorry for myself and blaming everyone except me. Had I been dealt a lousy hand that set me on the path of destruction? Yes. Was I to blame for continuing that path and ultimately making that path even worse? 

Hell yes, I was!

Could I have changed the trajectory of my life? Could I have made better decisions? Could I have saved myself from attempted suicide? 

100% yes, I could.

So was it my fault that I was depressed? Categorically it was 100%.

But no one around me had the bollocks to tell me it was my fault I was depressed. It was my fault my business was failing, and it was my fault my entire life was turning to shit. In retrospect, I'm not blaming anyone else apart from myself. But I sure as hell wished someone had put their arm around me and told me to get my head from out of my arse and sort my life out. 

The advice I wished someone had given me.

Call it tough love, call it a lack of empathy, but just so you know: if you are feeling depressed and are consuming booze, drugs, excessive sugar and not getting enough exercise and have no plan of action, then you have to face up and realise you are to blame for your depression. 

A dose of reality.

These days, people are too scared to touch on the subject of what causes mental health, especially among men. It's a well-known fact that suicide is the biggest killer of Men below the age of 45. What the statistics fail to tell you is that in over 80% of cases of suicide, alcohol or bad lifestyle habits played a significant role. 

I'm not saying that if you stop consuming alcohol and drugs and start exercising and eating better, your depression will suddenly disappear. But I will go as far as to say that by doing all of the above, you will be in a far better position to effectively deal with your depression and make strategic changes to your life which can result in you overcoming your struggle with depression.

Trust me, I've been there, and I'm fortunate enough to be writing these very words that you're reading. 

A bit of tough love never hurt anyone.

Now you might be thinking, who the fuck does this guy think he is? He is nothing but a (enter expletive of choice). But if you're reading this article, it's highly likely because you suffer from depression or some other mental illness. I'm simply giving you the advice I wish someone had given me back in 2015. 

I'm not trying to mug you off or make you feel worse than you already do, and I sincerely hope these words are the dose of reality that enables you to get your head out of your arse and make the lifestyle changes required in order to overcome your struggle.

The reality is this...

Depression is the only illness where people still feel sorry for you even when you're doing fuck all to help yourself.

The fat friend

Would you sympathise with a fat friend if all they did was stuff their face, eat crap, sit on their arse all day and moan about their weight? No, you would say it's their own fault, right?

The diabetic friend

If you had a friend who was constantly unwell and on medication for diabetes but continued to consume sugar-laden foods and soda every day, would you feel sorry for them? Of course not. You would say it was their own fault, right?

The injured friend

If you had a friend who constantly had back or knee trouble yet kept squatting or deadlifting big weights down the gym and came to you for advice, would you tell them to keep doing what they were doing? Of course not. You would tell them to stop what they were doing,

Can you see where I'm going with this?

But you get my point, right?

So when I see someone constantly moaning about being depressed, whining about how bad their life is. Yet they are boozing, eating shit, sitting on their arse all day whilst constantly scrolling on social media; I struggle to have any sympathy whatsoever.

I stand by my conviction - if you suffer from depression and are doing any of the above, then you only have yourself to blame - period!

*In this article I talk about what is known as situational depression and do not pass judgement or opinion on any other form of depression.

If you are suffering with depression I highly recommend contact CALM who provide a great service.

Do you agree with my comments in this article?

Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on Twitter

Other articles you might find useful

Do you have low testosterone

5 Reasons you should quit your shitty job

5 Essential tips all Men in their 40’s need to hear