Why I Decided To Trek Over 2,500 Miles Across India
I was sitting in a pub in Clapham enjoying a few drinks when I was reminded that I was fast approaching the big 40. Out of nowhere, I felt as if I had been struck with a sledgehammer to the chest.
Fuck, fuck, fuck
Why I Decided To Trek Over 2,500 Miles Across India
Over the next few days, I started to have all these doubts and insecurities play over in my mind. Mistakes I’d made in life, opportunities I’d wasted, and the probing thought of; what had I done with my life?
Fuck I’m turning 40, and suddenly I wasn’t happy at all with my life. What had I actually achieved? I wasn’t an iconic sports star, acclaimed music artist or a successful entrepreneur. I didn’t live in a mansion, have a yacht moored in Monaco, or own a shit load of Bitcoin.
I even started to question things that had never played on my mind before. Had I slept with enough women, owned enough impractical sports cars or been on enough lads holidays?
Self-doubt completely consumed me, and I don’t know why?
Life was good, really good. I was in a great relationship, had enough money, lived in a lovely home, and business was good. But the thought of turning 40 not only worried the hell out of me, but it also dragged up some issues I thought I’d put to bed.
It would appear not!
I make no secret of the fact that in 2015 I had a breakdown and attempted suicide. I had lost my business, my home, my fiancé, my wealth and very nearly my life. But that was in the past, at least I thought it was. In the years that preceded, I had successfully rebuilt my life. But there were clearly some underlying issues that had resurfaced.
Suddenly my apparent “great relationship” made me feel tied down and claustrophobic. All the material things I had once possessed and didn’t make me happy suddenly became super important again. Overnight I needed that Rolex, the Porche, and the penthouse apartment.
I guess we all have insecurities in some way, shape or form?
I decided I needed a challenge and a big one at that. Over the next few days, I pondered over what “alpha male” challenges one could complete. What “manly feats of endurance I could accomplish, in order to make me feel...well, more of a Man, I guess.
I toyed with the idea of a marathon, Tough Mudder, Iron Man, and just about every other “MANLY” challenge. But nothing rocked my boat. Not knocking any of the people who had completed such feats, but I had many mates who’d completed such challenges. In my disillusioned mind, I didn’t want to be part of the audience; I wanted to be the one standing on stage. I wanted the limelight, the admiration, and the opportunity to bask in the glory of being worthy! Worthy of what, I have no idea. But anything was better than how I was feeling.
Fast forward a week of feeling sorry for myself, constantly beating myself up, and questioning my masculinity. I decided to attend a DMT ceremony to try to gain some clarity and direction. And, with the magic of the plant medicine, I was transported to another dimension, and that’s when it came to me so vividly. I was to trek across India. All 2,558 miles of this crazy and challenging country.
Kashmir to Kanyakumari.
Tap image for the full story
In the days that followed, I felt rejuvenated. This was going to be a life-changing adventure. Suddenly I was filled with a passion and desire that I hadn’t felt in years. I’ll show them, I thought to myself. Who they were, I have no idea. Looking back now, I realise that the only person I had to prove anything to was myself.
But that’s a good enough reason as any isn’t it?
India, however, had other plans for me. To say I overestimated my ability and vastly underestimated the sheer enormity of what trekking 25/30 miles a day, with a 20kg backpack entailed, would come back to bite me on the arse.
In only a few months, I could never have imagined that I would encounter such adversity while attempting this crazy challenge.
Caught up in the riots in Kashmir
Trolled by Muslim extremists
Robbed by knife-wielding thugs
Suffered from Rhabdomyolysis & nearly died
Run over by a drunk driver
This crazy adventure took me 127 days and I lost 25kg in the process. But there is far too much to cover in this blog post. I’ll be covering this whole expedition in more detail in an upcoming episode of the Male Mastery podcast show. In the meantime you can check out more details Create Your Own Adventure India
In the meantime I have recently published an article 5 Essential Tips Men In Their 40s Need To Hear I highly recommend you check this out as I share some valuable advice which comes from first hand experience.
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